let me tell ya 'bout my beeeesst friends...
this weekend has been the most exhausting and uplifting weekend i have had in quite some time. maybe ever.
i have the most amazing support sytem in the world. sometimes i feel like it's just me against the world, and then the people in my life show me a world so polar opposite from alone, that it brings me to my knees.
my friend N has practically dropped a dream job in my lap. she knows i'm not happy where i am now, and i really thought that was originally why she was offering it. as the interview date has drawn closer, my nerves were really making a show. i didn't want to let her down. i didn't want to ruin my chances of getting this job that i want so very badly. one of my concerns was that she was putting this position in front of me because of our friendship. i felt like she completely overestimated my abilities and knowledge. i discussed this with her and she assured me that while we are the best of friends, there's no way she would jeopardize her work by trying to get someone into this position without them being able to perform the work.
so i plugged away at my presentation. i got everything completed. the day before the interview, my friend L had a root canal. ew. this was the day she was scheduled to come to my house, spend the night, and drive me to my interview the next day because my car is still (sigh) in the shop. this girl not only came through on the day she had a root canal, but she also took the next day off and used vacation time so that i wouldn't have to spend the first part of the day alone while waiting for my interview. i went over my presentation with her, and she was genuinely impressed. this gave me so much more confidence for my interview than anything else could have. i value her opinion. she has been my constant buoy for the past 2 years. she has shown me what friendship really is. somehow, it always shocks me.
along with these two doing these things for me, all of my other friends knew i had this interview. i can't believe how many people have such unwaivering faith in me. my co-workers at my current job are so convinced of my abilities, they're already mourning the loss of me when i leave. my ex told me that he knows i own this job and to take what is mine. another friend said i was the most determined person they know and that i will nail the interview. my friend M has been talking me down off the ledge since the day i knew i had an interview. every day, i have been a basket case, and she patiently reassures me and encourages me.
another situation i got myself into this week was a 5k race. my friend C has been running the LA marathon for a couple years, and he spends a lot of time preparing for it. he knew i was hitting the fitness trail and has been encouraging me to start doing some of these races. he said i wouldn't believe where my legs would take me. that inspired me. so i started walking. i would hit the elliptical at the gym, and i would walk the 2.9 miles from work to home several times a week. i would also walk on the weekends. i really thought i had it down and that the 3.1 miles i'd be doing in the 5k would be a breeze. i even went so far as to tell people not to be TOO impressed by the 5k, as it was only 3 miles. i'm a fool. i did the 5k with C yesterday and my hips feel like they belong to a 65 year old woman. it wasn't easy. that's because i didn't realize how slowly i was walking during my training. the 5k was much more intense. we ran almost half of the time, on and off. when i finished that race, i was so proud of myself, i actually called my mother (i know!) and wept. what an amazing feeling to finish something you didn't think you could.
my friend C...i can't believe his committment to helping me finish this race. he didn't have to do it. he had just run a 13 mile half marathon last month. this 5k meant nothing to him, except helping get me going. he stayed with me the entire time. he told me the most inspiring stories. he is so encouraging. he skipped a party at his brother-in-law's house the night before. he got up at 4:30 in the morning to drive an hour and pay $30 for him and $30 for his son to run the race. he could have stayed in bed on that chilly saturday morning and slept soundly until noon. instead, he did all that, just for me. just to help me cross that finish line. he's now wanting to help train me for the full marathon in may. the LA-fucking-marathon! that's something i can't even wrap my head around and the idea of doing 26 miles....nearly NINE TIMES what i did yesterday....scares the shit out of me. but there's this portion of my brain that is saying, "holy shit. what if we do it. how proud will you be?" so he's offering to train with me. twice a week around the rose bowl he says. a 10k within the next month, he says.
part of me wants to run away, but the rest of me feels if he has that much faith in me, why can't i? why do i keep thinking if i continue on this path, eventually they're going to find out the 'truth' about me and see that i'm not everything they think i am? my shrink asked the same question....and with it he asked, "are you SURE you're not exactly who they think you are?".
if all of these people know these things to be true about me, why don't i know i? furthermore, why am i so completely shocked that they would say and do these things for me? i had no idea how many people i had on my side. not just on my side, but steadfast in their loyalty and faith in me. if all these wonderful and amazing people have this much faith in me....maybe there's something to it. i'm sure i should be feeling that on my own, but somehow i think if they all think it, maybe it's true. either way, i have one more interview to go, and training until may to show them they're right. we'll see. here i come, LA marathon and brand new job. =)
i have the most amazing support sytem in the world. sometimes i feel like it's just me against the world, and then the people in my life show me a world so polar opposite from alone, that it brings me to my knees.
my friend N has practically dropped a dream job in my lap. she knows i'm not happy where i am now, and i really thought that was originally why she was offering it. as the interview date has drawn closer, my nerves were really making a show. i didn't want to let her down. i didn't want to ruin my chances of getting this job that i want so very badly. one of my concerns was that she was putting this position in front of me because of our friendship. i felt like she completely overestimated my abilities and knowledge. i discussed this with her and she assured me that while we are the best of friends, there's no way she would jeopardize her work by trying to get someone into this position without them being able to perform the work.
so i plugged away at my presentation. i got everything completed. the day before the interview, my friend L had a root canal. ew. this was the day she was scheduled to come to my house, spend the night, and drive me to my interview the next day because my car is still (sigh) in the shop. this girl not only came through on the day she had a root canal, but she also took the next day off and used vacation time so that i wouldn't have to spend the first part of the day alone while waiting for my interview. i went over my presentation with her, and she was genuinely impressed. this gave me so much more confidence for my interview than anything else could have. i value her opinion. she has been my constant buoy for the past 2 years. she has shown me what friendship really is. somehow, it always shocks me.
along with these two doing these things for me, all of my other friends knew i had this interview. i can't believe how many people have such unwaivering faith in me. my co-workers at my current job are so convinced of my abilities, they're already mourning the loss of me when i leave. my ex told me that he knows i own this job and to take what is mine. another friend said i was the most determined person they know and that i will nail the interview. my friend M has been talking me down off the ledge since the day i knew i had an interview. every day, i have been a basket case, and she patiently reassures me and encourages me.
another situation i got myself into this week was a 5k race. my friend C has been running the LA marathon for a couple years, and he spends a lot of time preparing for it. he knew i was hitting the fitness trail and has been encouraging me to start doing some of these races. he said i wouldn't believe where my legs would take me. that inspired me. so i started walking. i would hit the elliptical at the gym, and i would walk the 2.9 miles from work to home several times a week. i would also walk on the weekends. i really thought i had it down and that the 3.1 miles i'd be doing in the 5k would be a breeze. i even went so far as to tell people not to be TOO impressed by the 5k, as it was only 3 miles. i'm a fool. i did the 5k with C yesterday and my hips feel like they belong to a 65 year old woman. it wasn't easy. that's because i didn't realize how slowly i was walking during my training. the 5k was much more intense. we ran almost half of the time, on and off. when i finished that race, i was so proud of myself, i actually called my mother (i know!) and wept. what an amazing feeling to finish something you didn't think you could.
my friend C...i can't believe his committment to helping me finish this race. he didn't have to do it. he had just run a 13 mile half marathon last month. this 5k meant nothing to him, except helping get me going. he stayed with me the entire time. he told me the most inspiring stories. he is so encouraging. he skipped a party at his brother-in-law's house the night before. he got up at 4:30 in the morning to drive an hour and pay $30 for him and $30 for his son to run the race. he could have stayed in bed on that chilly saturday morning and slept soundly until noon. instead, he did all that, just for me. just to help me cross that finish line. he's now wanting to help train me for the full marathon in may. the LA-fucking-marathon! that's something i can't even wrap my head around and the idea of doing 26 miles....nearly NINE TIMES what i did yesterday....scares the shit out of me. but there's this portion of my brain that is saying, "holy shit. what if we do it. how proud will you be?" so he's offering to train with me. twice a week around the rose bowl he says. a 10k within the next month, he says.
part of me wants to run away, but the rest of me feels if he has that much faith in me, why can't i? why do i keep thinking if i continue on this path, eventually they're going to find out the 'truth' about me and see that i'm not everything they think i am? my shrink asked the same question....and with it he asked, "are you SURE you're not exactly who they think you are?".
if all of these people know these things to be true about me, why don't i know i? furthermore, why am i so completely shocked that they would say and do these things for me? i had no idea how many people i had on my side. not just on my side, but steadfast in their loyalty and faith in me. if all these wonderful and amazing people have this much faith in me....maybe there's something to it. i'm sure i should be feeling that on my own, but somehow i think if they all think it, maybe it's true. either way, i have one more interview to go, and training until may to show them they're right. we'll see. here i come, LA marathon and brand new job. =)
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