thrive/survive
so i've been seeing a therapist. there. it's out. i'm not the pillar of strength i pretend to be. well, i guess i was. until i hit that brick wall. more on that later.
yesterday, my therapist said something to me that really got my attention. he said, "you already know how to survive. you've proven it. the only thing that running will do is prove once again that you can survive. if you stay, you'll learn how to thrive instead." that's what i want to do. i want to thrive. for all its hokiness, it's exactly what i needed to hear.
to me, part of thriving would be to do the things i know i need to do. you see, i'm a giant procrastinator. i will put off doctor appointments, getting my car fixed when i know it needs it and going to the fucking dentist. wtf?
today, i've jumped in the pool. with larry (my doc) as my life jacket. maybe he's more like the arm floaties than a full on life jacket. i like to think that i can accomplish most of it on my own.
i made an appointment with a few doctors, a dentist, a car repairman, and weight watchers. i'm excited about all of them. okay, maybe not the dentist, but i know i'll be happy once it's done.
what i'm most excited about is the weight watchers. see, i'm a fatty. there, now that's out. woot! this "address, not avoid" business is really taking flight. i'm really looking forward to following the program. i did it once before and had great success. then failed greatly. i didn't stick to it. the reason i didn't stick to it is because i picked up and ran. again. that thrust me out of thrive mode and into survival mode. when you're starting over in a new state, your regimen becomes getting settled, not improving your life.
the thing about weight watchers is it gives you just enough guideline to make you feel like you're receiving strict instructions, but gives you just enough freedom to feel you're making your own choices. this is exactly the kind of trickery i need applied to my psyche in order for me to succeed.
i think the reason i feel so much better today is because i've decided 100% that i'm staying. i've decided to not hang out in the crossroads of indecision any longer. time to put on my big girl pants and put down some roots that will stick this time. yay me.
Heinrich Heine says, "be entirely tolerant or not at all; follow the good path or the evil one. to stand at the crossroads takes more strength than you possess". those crossroads kill me every single time.
yesterday, my therapist said something to me that really got my attention. he said, "you already know how to survive. you've proven it. the only thing that running will do is prove once again that you can survive. if you stay, you'll learn how to thrive instead." that's what i want to do. i want to thrive. for all its hokiness, it's exactly what i needed to hear.
to me, part of thriving would be to do the things i know i need to do. you see, i'm a giant procrastinator. i will put off doctor appointments, getting my car fixed when i know it needs it and going to the fucking dentist. wtf?
today, i've jumped in the pool. with larry (my doc) as my life jacket. maybe he's more like the arm floaties than a full on life jacket. i like to think that i can accomplish most of it on my own.
i made an appointment with a few doctors, a dentist, a car repairman, and weight watchers. i'm excited about all of them. okay, maybe not the dentist, but i know i'll be happy once it's done.
what i'm most excited about is the weight watchers. see, i'm a fatty. there, now that's out. woot! this "address, not avoid" business is really taking flight. i'm really looking forward to following the program. i did it once before and had great success. then failed greatly. i didn't stick to it. the reason i didn't stick to it is because i picked up and ran. again. that thrust me out of thrive mode and into survival mode. when you're starting over in a new state, your regimen becomes getting settled, not improving your life.
the thing about weight watchers is it gives you just enough guideline to make you feel like you're receiving strict instructions, but gives you just enough freedom to feel you're making your own choices. this is exactly the kind of trickery i need applied to my psyche in order for me to succeed.
i think the reason i feel so much better today is because i've decided 100% that i'm staying. i've decided to not hang out in the crossroads of indecision any longer. time to put on my big girl pants and put down some roots that will stick this time. yay me.
Heinrich Heine says, "be entirely tolerant or not at all; follow the good path or the evil one. to stand at the crossroads takes more strength than you possess". those crossroads kill me every single time.
Comments